Sometimes it's fun to imagine what it would be like to be President of the United States. Actually, being dictator would allow me the latitude I'd really want. I've always liked the title "Tsar". In any case, I'm neither arrogant enough to think I could be elected to any office above County Animal Control Officer, nor foolish enough to want to take my family and I through the process. But what if something silly happened and I were somehow elected President? Maybe some crazy Internet stunt that got out of hand. What would I do my first full day in the White House?