We’re Sorry, America. Really sorry.

On behalf of the State of Texas, I'd like to apologize for giving you George W. Bush. You have to understand, he really wasn't that bad as Governor of Texas. Sure, he didn't do much, but we rather like that down here. He actually seemed like something of a uniter, working with both the Republicans and the Democrats in office. He certainly didn't come across as a Big Government Republican, war-mongering, spying-on-Americans, torturer.