Best Names of 2008 (Legal Humor)

What follows are the actual names of people that came through a central Texas courthouse during 2008. Frankly, I don’t think any more of an introduction is needed. The names speak for themselves.

Names Are Destiny
Eroin, charged with Possession of a Controlled Substance, to-wit: heroin
Margarita Lyons, charged with her 5th DWI
William Punch, charged with Aggravated Assault
Robert Payment, charged with Theft
John Banks, charged with Robbery
Kenneth Booze, charged with Theft, to-wit: liquor
Precious Shaw, charged with Aggravated Assault
OD Nealy, charged with Possession of a Controlled Substance
Mary Jane Guana, charged w/ POM
Paul Wackym, charged w/ indecent exposure
Donald Truevillian, charged w/ Assault-Family Violence, habitual
Sterling Silver, manager of a bank

Just Plain Wrong
Harry Bush
Teewana Stimulus Brewster
Precyous Jewelray Williams
Sir Smith
Aquanetta
Randy Johnson
Detroit Saint Emergence
Southside Austin Holloway
Apollonia
Sanquisha
Farlesha Lasha
Carmonique Chambray
Anquinizander
Fashionette Haynes
Rev-Lon
Cage Paugh
Ozzy Ozmun Stoneking
Tamir Sha-meek Allah Vanderveer
Joshua Jordan River De Los Santos
Rong Rong
Quesha Tanesha
John Shithead
Jubalee
Thomas Aquinas
Tyrenzia Eunique Alexander
Rodney Rodquis Ryan
Ny Keja Tucha Anderson
D’Miracle Rain Isiah Scott Armstrong
Blessing Faith Arnold
Kambernae Kaliyah Mosley
Kiarra Renea Loud Citty
Azainique Emani McCarver
Allahshan’a Glynn Green
Ar-banetta Huricks
Aliyanna Leonarda Hernandez
Taytiana Revarnett Hill
A’Breya Sha’Rae Jones-Dunan
Sarita Chinea-Dee Luna
Jovial Skye Perskin
Tamir Sha-Meek Allah Vaderveer
Naveah Snitkoff-Knopp (Naveah is Heaven spelled backwards and incorrectly!!)
William Sincere Wesley
Godness Heavley Dwiley Bailey-Morrison
Jewelianna
Aminesha Ne’shon La’storm Price
Le-a (pronounced la-dash-a; as her mom said, “the dash ain’t silent”)

I’ll post the “Best of” from previous years in the near future.